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How about these right… I think you’ll find the following nuggets of wisdom particularly insightful. Leave your comments below. Check out the second one Read the rest of this entry »
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Let passion rule your sex life – Yahoo! India News
New Delhi, June 13 — I had typhoid last month. I find that my sexual desire has reduced since then. Read the rest of this entry »
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Remember Freud’s drawing of the bearded old man with the “hidden” naked woman, and the caption “What’s on a Man’s Mind”? Judging from my experience with men, which spans from coaching men on sex, leading relationship trainings with my wife, being part of an international men’s community, to of course being one myself, it’s obvious that there’s a lot more on men’s minds when it comes to sex than the beautiful young woman in Freud’s depiction. As a matter of fact, there are so many conflicting voices at play in a man’s mind that it can be very difficult to sort out which voice to listen to, if any of them.
In this article I will share what I find are the dominant voices in men’s minds about sex and where they come from. And although it can sound amusing to talk about “voices” in a man’s mind, make no mistake, it hardly ever is. Often, it’s a source of immense pain, embarrassment, confusion, anger, shame, and guilt, and actually amounts to a unique kind of insanity.
Imagine a triangle. In the center stands a man trying to make sense of his sexuality, trying to determine where to stand. Each of the three points on the triangle is a voice beckoning to him with its answer to his quest. One voice is warning him, another is luring him, and the third is strong at first, but then later can hardly be heard. In his attempt to go in three different directions at once, he tears himself apart. This tearing apart is what we see in men as either sexual “overdrive”, e.g. sex addiction, using prostitutes, or having affairs; or sexual “underdrive”, which can be impotence, premature ejaculation, lack of sex drive, or feeling like a little boy in sex. Let’s look at these voices:
The first voice says: “Sex is immoral, dirty and dangerous”. From the second a baby boy is born, his genitals are securely wrapped up and hidden behind diapers. If he manages to find his way through the layers and actually feel his privates, there’s bound to follow a “NO!”, or maybe his hand is just gently taken away. He’ll hear when he grows a bit older how it isn’t appropriate to touch “down there”, and “those things” should be kept private. Come puberty, the “tales of danger” begins: You can get sexually transmitted diseases, die from AIDS, make a girl pregnant, have to have abortion, or become a parent, either way is terror. Some boys will have the religious theme added which not only makes it all dangerous, but also dirty, sinful and a potential ticket to hell. (For the record, I have a 12-year old boy. The level of fear regarding sex promoted through the adults around these kids is truly mind-blowing)
The second voice says: “Sex is what a REAL man does! Yeah, I’m a stuuuud!” This voice is fueled by movies, magazines, TV, commercials, other boys, and sometimes moms and dads as well. This voice preaches the image we’ve all learned by watching a couple of million hours of artificial reality through movies and TV. The hero always “scores” the woman, does he not? He always ends up in bed with her. He always knows exactly what to do, what to say, when to say it, and when to shut her up with a swooning kiss. He’s always slender and handsome, with a “6-pack” on his belly (my son will sometimes ask me, blue in the face from strain: “Dad, hnngh, see my 6-pack, hnnnggh, do you see it?”) He’s well-mannered and will make all the female eyes in the room turn his way. He’s a stud! This voice is strengthened by the cheers of fellow insecure young men as they egg each other on and try to prove themselves.
Now, the third voice is different in nature, in that it was in the boy from birth. At times it is very audible, for example around puberty, but often it doesn’t speak as loudly as the two other voices. It is more of a “felt” voice. This is the voice of our inherent sexual force, the call from somewhere mystical that we feel without a doubt when the force is awoken. It whispers to us of intense pleasure, of never-ending delight, of savoring the fruits of the Earth and human bodies. It sings lyrical tunes in our inner ears and has the drawing power of the alluring songs of the sirens. Even before we have a language, we intuitively want to see where it’s leading us. No toddler every planned to go masturbate. His hand just automatically is drawn to rest on his genitals (did you ever observe little boys and girls who aren’t in diapers and who are allowed to explore? They touch themselves frequently and with unashamed pleasure).
Is it any wonder, with these three voices vying for his attention and pulling on him, that the boy grows into a man utterly confused about his sexuality?
It is out of this confusion and insanity that most all of men’s pain, shame, guilt, performance anxiety, addiction to, or avoidance of sex arise. It’s madness, and we’ve all received massive amounts of it. Many men never free themselves from it; ALL men have the capacity to do so. It takes conscious effort, for sure, but with some help it’s totally doable. And the rewards are infinite. The reward is nothing less than access to the full power God gave us through the vast force of sexual energy. From there, we are indeed unstoppable.
So men, no matter where you find yourself in your sex-life now, take a first step. Call me for an informal conversation – strictly confidential – and we’ll point you in the right direction.
1f52
See my intro video and contact info at http://loveworksforyou.com/coachingformen.html
Christian R Pedersen
LoveWorks!
530-878-3893
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Could my excessive female masturbation lead to hormonal problems?
I'm a woman and it's my mechanism for dealing with stress, I masturbate when Read the rest of this entry »
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Name for female masturbation blog?
I'm putting this in the women's health section because I think I'd get better and more serious answers Read the rest of this entry »
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If you’ve seen the movie There’s Something About Mary, you’re probably familiar with the conversation between Ben Stiller and Chris Elliott about “The Read the rest of this entry »
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A personal search through the Bible for a single reading on my topic-masturbation; I must say was a bit disappointing since I found none to my surprise. To me, I think the Bible’s silence on the topic is a bit odd since it goes a long way to speak plainly on other sexual matters such as fornication, adultery and even sex with animals. Christ, in one of His teachings went beyond ‘fleshly adultery’ and pointed out adultery of the heart. (Matt. 5:28). Many Christians of today in an attempt to justify masturbation as a sin go as far as comparing it to ‘Onanism’; as seen in Gen. 38:9. In actual fact, most people prefer to call masturbation ‘onanism’. But then, Onan’s behavior was a clear act of malice and cheating on Tamar; moreover, his actions cannot be said as masturbating.
Masturbation refers to the sexual stimulation of one’s own genitals with the intent of achieving orgasm. This stimulation is mainly performed manually, or by the use of bodily contact short of intercourse, through the use of objects or a combination of these. Main types include self masturbation, mutual masturbation and animal masturbation. It is closely related to sexual fantasies and they move hand in hand. Ethically, some people see it as a sin which far out weighs fornication, adultery or even rape.
This is a universal issue which occurs in all circles of life. Nearly all adolescents masturbate and even married men and women practice it. James McCary, author of Human Sexuality has found that about 95% of men and between 50 and 90% of women masturbate. I must however; point out that it is very acute for Christian singles, who out of their Christian values and convictions have said NO TO SEX outside of marriage.
The question now remains- ‘Is masturbation a morally accepted activity for a disciple of Christ or is it a gift from God to help avoid sexual promiscuity?’ Most medical experts are of the view that the practice is safe and not harmful when done with restriction. It is viewed in many mental health circles as a means of relieving depression, stress and subsequently leads to a higher self-worth. It is also helpful in relationships where one partner wants more sex than the other; providing an alternative to sex and eventually leading to more stabilized relationships. In reproductive health, it may be viewed as a means of increasing fertility during intercourse. Female masturbation alters conditions in the vagina, uterus and cervix, in ways that can alter or increase chances of conception but this however, depends on the timing of the masturbation. In males, masturbation brings out old sperms with low motility from the genital tract making way for fresh sperms with higher chances of conception in the next ejaculate. Lastly, some couples find it as means to developing their full sexual potentials; identification of more sensitive parts of their bodies.
Some main concerns about masturbation is its close connection with sexual fantasies which in most instances lead to most sexual perversions; pornography, rape and the like. Also, is the issue of the ‘singularity’ of masturbation. It is true that it can bring some sort of satisfaction though; orgasm, but it should however be mentioned that this forms only a small part of the larger whole of sexual intercourse therefore making it a selfish act. This could lead to very serious consequences of obsession, guilt, self-hatred and idolatry in the long run.
The silence of the church on this issue is not helping Christians at all neither is its counsel of repression. Desperate as most Christians are, they try to suppress their sexual feelings and be free from all the guilt and disappointment that comes with it. The onus therefore lies on the church to explicitly discuss this topic and help its congregation to make the right choices. Masturbation is a real part of the human sexual life pattern and cannot be completely swept under the carpet or eliminated, but disciplined; with emphasis on the discipline. This is a very difficult problem for most people and I must emphasize that divine help from the Holy Spirit will do us a great deal of good in helping to control it entirely.
Article Source:
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Hi, I don't know how to start this ,I am a girl with the excessive se#ual thoughts, Se# is always in my mind , i don't know why but whole day i can't stop thinking about se#, i am not able to control my se#ual feelings, due to this i spoiled my studies ,i am not able to concentrate on any thing, i was actually a bright student in my class but now i am getting failed in almost all the subjects, and some times i used to masturbate !!!!! yes i Masturbate, I know it seems very odd as being a girl i do this, but what to do i am unable to control my self, at first i used to masturbate when my feelings are at the peak level but now it became as a habit, a kind of obsession, i don't know what to do, I know its wrong to Masturbate, I daily pray to god but my feelings are still the same,. At first i thought marriage is the best solution to this but tell me , who is gonna marry such a young girl who did n't finish 11 th ????? pls don't say to wait until i finish my studies, These feelings are so intense that i can't wait for a long time, pls help me out, PLS DON'T POST ANY HARSH COMMENTS, EVEN I KNOW THIS IS WRONG BUT I AM TOTALLY ADDICTED TO IT. Do girls Masturbate? Does this happens to every body who masturbates or it only happens to me? Now i masturbate at least 4-5 times a month, I am feeling veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy guilty about my self , is this a addiction ?
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Why Use Lubricants When Trying to Conceive?
A common problem for couples who are trying to conceive is vaginal dryness. The lack of a moist vaginal Read the rest of this entry »
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Masturbation has all kinds of HEALTH BENEFITS. Just in case you need more convincing! Your clitoris was designed for your pleasure. It has no other Read the rest of this entry »
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